Bleach: The Unauthorized Novel
by Amciel
Summary: You all have them--friends who would love this story if only it wasn't a manga. Now's your chance to get them to read. It'll take a while, but the whole story WILL get up here!


Alrighty! I have friends who would absolutely LOVE Bleach…if it weren't a manga. Either they don't want to bother getting the books, reading backwards gives them a headache, or they just aren't used to translating still frames into action. So, here it is—the start of my novelized version of Bleach!

A few notes—skip these if you just wanna jump into the story and don't care.

-Lots of my friends who'll read this are completely unfamiliar with Japanese culture. I'll stick in notes here and there, usually with a (#). Head down to the bottom for some clarification/interesting facts.

-I'm going to do my best to get as close to the original as possible, but it will get tweaked for the sake of narration.

- Contrary to most scanlations/fansubs, the Japanese do _not_ swear every other line. American English doesn't really have the equivalent of Polite/Distal style speech, Direct form, or crude so some translators like to compensate by throwing in a million swear words. In Japanese, it is the tone, not the words that are the insult. I will have occasional hells and damns, but they will be rare. (Nnoitra's favorite word isn't going to come up EVER) That said, I'm also going to take out some of the sensuality as well. (Chiziru, for example, is going to find herself extremely bowdlerized)

-Each manga chapter, published weekly in Shonen Jump, is about twenty pages long. However, since this is the first, it has 55 pages. That translates to A LOT of writing. I'll probably split all the big chapters in two. I am going to try and follow their update schedule, though. Look for a new chapter every Tuesday…possibly more.

-Please, do not flame me for making the chapters acceptable to show to my family and friends. Notice how it's posted on ? This is Fan Fiction, in no way associated with Kubo or his publishers. It's just for fun. Please R&R

With that out of the way, I am proud to present my most favorite story of all time!

_Hello. This is my first volume of Bleach. I tried my best writing it. Please enjoy it. _

–_Kubo Tite._

**BLEACH**

**Volume 1: Death and the Strawberry**

_**Because we have no form, we fear it.**_

_**And because its form is terrible, we revere it. (1)**_

Chapter 1: The Death and the Strawberry

At 2.23 am on Friday morning, Karakura town was silent as the black swallowtail butterfly flapped raggedly upwards. The Shinigami it left behind, invisible to human eyes, studied her orders in the gleam of the crescent moon and warm colored streetlights. (2) This was the first solo mission she'd been assigned to in the Coporeal World, and it promised to be a welcome distraction.

"It must be around here…" She murmured, eyes glancing over the folds of paper, senses reaching out to the flows of power, weak and strong, the heartbeat of the city. There it was—a flare of strong _Reiatsu_, with the rough, dark edge she was seeking.(3) A Hollow.

She leapt from telephone pole to telephone pole, black robes billowing in the wind, sword gleaming in the moonlight, disappearing into the red darkness as the Hell Butterfly faded into the night sky.

*

Thus the Sword of Fate is Swung Down

*

At 7:13 pm Friday evening, Yama's gang members gaped in horror as their leader collapsed to the ground, nose and mouth fountaining blood. His skateboard landed facedown as well, wheel's spinning uselessly.

"What?!" Toshi, Yama's right hand man whipped his head around to glare at the attacker. "You randomly show up, kick down Yama-bro, and are telling _us_ to get out of here?" The newcomer, an orange haired high-school student absently scratched his head, scowling as he apparently ignored the gang member's protest. The other's also looked on in silence, too shocked to do anything. Toshi leapt forward, hand already in a fist. "Hey, I'm talkin' to—uph!" A kick silenced him as he crashed down next to Yama.

"Toshi-bro's down!" Mit, third in line, gasped. The gang was shocked—the orange-head's posture had barely shifted, but lifted his right foot high enough to plant it in Toshi's face with enough force to take him out.

"I don't know what's going on," One of the others said, "but this is dangerous!"

"Yeah, he's the sort of guy who'd kill us if we fought!" The last one agreed.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" The high school student spoke up for the first time, stomping on Toshi's head as he did so. "All of you—LOOK OVER THERE!"

Terrified of disobeying, the three remaining gang members stared at the telephone pole he pointed to. It took them a few moments to realize what the boy wanted them to see; the broken glass bottle atop of some crushed daisies. Water still trickled out of it.

"Question one!" The boy roared. "What could that POSSIBLY be?" His arm swung around until it pointed at Mit. "You, the stinky looking one!"

"Wha…? Oh. Um…an offering to the kid who died here recently?" (4)

"Correct!" Their enemy practically flew towards them, a third powerful kick laying out yet another gang member.

"Mit-bro!" The two still standing friends bent over him. "Hey, Mit-bro, you ok?" Mit didn't answer.

"Question two!" Still bent over from the follow through of his kick, the boy glared up at them, his voice dropping to a hiss. "_Why is that vase on its side?"_

"Uh…well…cuz we knocked it over while skate boarding?"

"I see." The boy straightened slowly. Jerking a thumb over his shoulder, he started yelling again. "Then shouldn't you APOLOGIZE to her?!" Behind him, the air shimmered, then solidified into a horrible apparition. A little girl, half of her face obscured by wounds and blood, a broken chain spouting from her chest, stared blankly at them with her remaining eye.

Never before had any man squealed the way these had. Their shrieking apologies echoed up and down the street as they raced away.

"Huh." Kurosaki Ichigo's furious expression relaxed into his usual scowl. (5) "If we scared them that much, they probably won't come back." He turned to look at the ghost of the little girl. The gore didn't unnerve him in the slightest. For being struck by a car, it was amazing she kept her form so well. "Sorry I had to use you like that."

"No." She shook her head. If she'd stood on the ground, her head would barely clear Ichigo's waist, but she floated eye level with him. "I'm the one that asked you to chase them away. I have to cooperate at least this much."

"Well then, see ya' later." Ichigo turned away.

"…ok. Thank you, mister!" She called after him. "I'll have it much more peacefully now!"

"Think nothing of it." Ichigo waved a hand in the air without looking back. "Hurry up and cross over to Heaven already!"

The walk home to the clinic lasted until the sun set. Ichigo's father was the neighborhood doctor. The blue and white sign on the outside of their house proclaimed in block letters, "Kurosaki Clinic, Family Practice and Pediatrics". Sometimes he saved lives. Sometimes he didn't. That was the way life was. Ichigo wasn't sure, but he suspected living in such a place was the reason he'd been able to see ghosts as long as he could remember.

It was great, to know he helped that girl, but it also reminded him of the ghosts he couldn't help, the ones who disappeared, leaving behind only a few drops of blood. Thinking about this, he walked into the kitchen much more unfocused then he should have been.

"_Tadaima_." (6) He muttered out of habit. Of course, Dad was lying in wait for him.

"YOU'RE LATE!" With a single kick to the face, Kurosaki Isshin sent his oldest son flying across the room. To an outsider, the scene would be hilarious. To Ichigo, it was a bad joke played one too many times. "What time do you think it is, you delinquent son?!" Kurosaki Isshin, doctor, father, and possibly the most insane man Ichigo knew, stood above him, hands on hips. His white lab coat was open, revealing a violently colored Hawaiian shirt. "You know that dinner time in the Kurosaki home is every night at seven o'clock sharp!"

"Oh, come on!" Ichigo jumped up, sticking his face close to his father's. "Is that how you treat a son who just went out of his way to help a ghost on the way home?!"

"Silence!" Isshin and Ichigo's scowls were exactly alike, but the dark haired, bearded doctor looked very different from his son. "No matter the reason, he who disrupts the peaceful, iron harmony of our home must pay in his own blood! Or what," Isshin went on, "are you implicitly bragging that only _you_ in this family can touch and talk to ghosts!?" That's when the nightly father-son karate match _really_ got under way.

"Shut up!" Ichigo yelled between punch and parry. "I didn't ask for all of this!"

"Ooh, I'm jealous!" His father growled. (7)

"Oh, stop it guys!" Yuzu, the older of the 10 year-old twins, scolded her dad and brother from the table. She brushed a light brown strand of hair behind one ear, dishing up Ichigo a plate of food with the other.

"Leave 'em to it." Tomboy Karin, the only Kurosaki child to get Isshin's dark hair, spoke around the chopsticks clamped in her teeth. "More rice, please." She held out the bowl for her twin to fill.

Ichigo won a temporary victory by throwing his father into the wall.

"First of all!" He pointed viscously at his dad, "The rules in this home are too strict! In what world is there a parent who sets the curfew for a healthy, male high-school student at seven pm?"

"Oh!" Yuzu's gasp interrupted his rant. "Ichigo, you've got another new one!"

"Huh?" Ichigo looked up and around. A little puff of what looked like smoke hovered above him a few seconds before morphing into an older man with dark hair and glasses. The rope he must have hung himself with was still tied around his neck. The broken chain all ghosts had was attached to his chest. "AHH! This guy—when did he…" Ichigo swatted at the ghost. "Aw man, I exorcise and I exorcise, but there's no getting rid of them!"

"You can see them, touch them, talk to them, plus you're like a special level spirit medium." Karin leaned back in her chair. "You're troubles are four fold. You've got it tough being 'High Spec' Ichi-nii." (8)

"But still…" Yuzu said, "I'm jealous too. I can only see them as a blur." She sighed, re-clipping her short bangs to the side with her cherry barrette. "I wanna see them more clearly."

"Pft. Not me." Karin took another big bite of rice. "I don't believe in ghosts."

"What?" Yuzu's eyes widened. "But you can see them!"

"Doesn't matter." Karin shrugged. "Whether I can see them or not, if I don't believe in them, they don't exist."

"How…How cold!" The ghost said, looking over.

"Not important." Karin waved a hand. "But what _is _important…" she held up a self-made pamphlet. "I've got an idea for a new project. Listen to this—'Would you like to frolic with Ghosts in the winds of early summer? Sign for the Karakura Town Spirit Picnick!"

"Last month it was to look at flowers." Yuzu said, brushing a few grains of rice off her apron.

"KARIN!" Ichigo finally realized what his sisters were talking about. "Stop trying to make money off of me!"

"An opening!" Isshin howled in victory, and the scuffle resumed. A second time, Ichigo threw his father across the room.

"Ah, forget it!" Ichigo threw his hands in the air. "Forget this, and forget dinner! I'm just going to bed!" He stormed from the kitchen, slamming the door.

"Ah, _Onii-chan_!" Yuzu called after him.

"Oh well." Karin had turned around in her chair, leaning her chin on the backrest. "It's your fault, Dad."

"Huh?" Isshin was instantly on his feet. "Me? Why?"

"Ichigo's had it rough lately!" Yuzu shook the rice spoon at him. "There's been more ghosts coming around then before!"

"What?!" Isshin's mouth dropped open. "He talks to you about things like that?"

"I'll take dinner up to his room later." Yuzu sighed, taking the loaded plate over to the counter.

"That kid." Their father muttered. "He never tells me any of his troubles."

"Of course not." Karin said. If she'd been facing her dad, he would have seen her roll her eyes. "Who'd talk to a Dad over forty but still communicates like a child?"

"Eeeh?" Isshin spun completely around, stiffening as if his daughter had shot him. He staggered over to a huge, brightly colored, mega-poster twice his height, featuring a smiling portrait of his departed wife. The words "Masaki Forever" surrounded by yellow flowers topped it all off. "Oh, dearest Masaaaaaki!" He howled. "Lately, perhaps because of their puberty troubles, our daughters have become so awfully cold to their father! Masaki, what do I doooo?!"

"First, take down that ridiculous memorial of Mom." Karin muttered.

***

The pentagon sign, printed with the number 15, clattered outside his door when Ichigo slammed it. (9)

"Jeeze." He muttered, slouching into his room, hands shoved into his pockets. "Why is everyone in this family so messed?" A small movement beside him caught his eye. A black swallowtail butterfly fluttered past him. "What? Where'd that come from?" The window was closed.

Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine. Usually, this feeling meant a ghost, but this time the sensation was so intense, he felt his heart freeze. Ichigo slowly looked behind him, unsure of what he'd see. It was the last thing he expected.

A girl about his age, her black hair matching her black robes, was drifting into his room through a swirling dark hole in the wall. She settled lightly on his desk, not even rustling the paper, as the hole shrunk and vanished behind her. There was a katana belted casually around her waist, and her confident stance left him without any doubt that she knew just how to use it. Her dull, cool eyes scanned the room, skipping right past Ichigo as if he wasn't there. With a light step, she floated from the table into the center of the room, her sandals making no noise. She was short, at least fifteen inches smaller then he. A breeze Ichigo couldn't feel swirled her hair around her neck, the thick lock in the center of her forehead apparently causing her no discomfort.

"It is near." Her low murmur was the first sound she'd made. Ichigo was not impressed.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING, RETARD!" Ichigo's kick sent her somersaulting into the nearest wall. The girl lay sprawled there as he continued to yell at her. "Some burglar you are! By it's near, do you mean the safe or something?"

Pushing herself up on her elbows, the girl craned her neck back to look over her shoulder. Her cool, composed expression was gone, replaced by comedic bewilderment.

"Y…you…you can SEE me?" She stuttered. Suddenly, her shock shifted to a puzzled frown. "Moreover, you just kicked me?"

"Huh? What the heck you talkin' about? Of course I can see you, idiot--" That was when his dad suddenly burst in, flying across the room to knee him in the back.

"BE QUIET, ICHIGO!"

"YOU be quiet!" Ichigo snarled back, punching Isshin across the face. "How could I not make a ruckus?" He pointed at the girl getting to her feet. "Look at this! What's with the security in this house, anyway?"

"Eh?" His dad raised an eyebrow. "Look at what?"

"Whaddya mean, look at what? I'm talking about this Samurai-costumed—"

"It's useless." The girl's calm exterior was back. Ichigo turned to face her. "Ordinary men cannot see me, boy." Her eyes, chilly and blank, bored into him. "I am a Shinigami."

***

At 8:10 pm in Karakura town, the blood of a ghost misted the air. A horrid sniffing noise, the patter of blood splashing to the ground, and a low voice growling "It is near…I smell it. It is near" all were unheard by the mortal inhabitants of the neighborhood. As a huge shape lumbered off into the darkness, the ghostly body of the small girl killed by a car crashed headfirst onto the ground where her flowers should have been. After a few moments, her broken body began to dissolve. Soon, there was just a blood mark on the road no one else would see.

The author begins every published volume with a poem. I've picked my favorite translations for each one since my kanji knowledge isn't expansinve enough to translate his beautiful poetry.

_Shinigami_ = God of Death, a Grim Reaper.

_Reiatsu _= Spirit Energy/Spirit Pressure.

The Japanese leave offerings to the dead. They pray to dead family members, rather then a single god. It's common for shrines to deceased ancestors to be set up in the home.

Two notes for this one. I'm keeping the names in original Japanese order—this means last name first. Also, manga does not have strict rules about viewpoint/storyteller since all of the action takes place like a camera is watching, so I hope the sudden shift in narrator doesn't really bother anyone.

Traditional comment when coming into the house. Lit. means "Having gone, I've returned." Or basically "I'm Home." The other family members already in the house are supposed to respond "O kairi." Which is "you've returned." Or, "Welcome Home."

No joke, this bit is actually really funny. But I'm actually sticking in a note to apologize for all the notes! I'll try and cut down on these next chapter.

It's common to not only say Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, but Brother and Sister as well. The words for older Brother are Nii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama etc depending on the level of respect. Karin combines this with Ichigo's name, and has nicknamed him "Ichi-nii". More on honorifics next chapter…

The actual Kanji used to spell Ichigo's name has a special meaning that will be revealed later, but the word "Ichigo" means Strawberry. Also, Ichi means one and Go means five. Put them together, and you've got 15, which is why he's got that doo-hickey hanging on his door.


End file.
